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Two
days before My 18th Birthday I
found out I was pregnant, This
came as a huge shock, as My
boyfriend and I had already
fallen out. I told him
about the pregnancy and it
didn't go down to well, he
called me a liar and said I had
made it all up just to get him
back, Which was not the case.
I had terrible morning sickness
all day at the beginning of my
pregnancy, and craving for
cheese and pickle sandwiches, (
which now I can not stand) I ate
them all day. Apart from
that I was really enjoying being
pregnant.
When the date for my Scan came
(7th June 2000)I was 16 weeks
pregnant and I was very excited,
I had arranged for my best
friend to come with me, and I
still wasn't talking to his Dad.
I can remember everyone telling
Me I had to drink lots of water
then it would be easier for them
to see the baby, So I drank all
this water as we were in the car
on our way there, But Cameron
was on my bladder so I just had
to go to the toilet when we got
there. after I was so
scared that they were going to
say they couldn't do the scan so
I drank a little more. We
were waiting in the waiting room
as if it was Christmas, My
friend Louise was just excited.
they finally called my name, I
suddenly got really worried,
it's hard to explain but I had butterflies,
I told my friend and she told me
to stop being so silly, that
everything was ok.
I lay on the bed, and the nice
lady said she's just turn the
screen away until she found the
baby, She then found him, and I
remember thinking how excited i
was to see my baby for the first
time. At first everything was
going ok, she showed up the
heart and that seems ok, so i
began to relax, then she said
she needed to measure the baby's
head, and she started to do it
she said that he was well
snuggled down, and we were
joking saying that he was
keeping warm, then she seemed to
change , she went really serious,
and said that i needed to empty
the rest of my bladder so she
could see it that helped the
baby to move. I remember
going to the toilet, knowing
that something was wrong as i
had already emptied my bladder.
When i got back she started
again but this time she kept the
monitor turned so i couldn't see
him. i knew deep down
there was something wrong, but
when i asked her she said everything's
ok, i just need to get my colleague.
When they both came back, she
looked and they both told me by
baby has Anencephaly I felt as
if my world had ended, I just
lay there screaming.
I was then showed into a private
room, where they said i had to
wait to see the consultant.
Then i realised that i couldn't
do this so i phoned my mum, who
was then crying to, she then
came to the hospital. It seems
like i was in that room for
hours, I was just praying that
the consultant would come in and
say it was all a mistake and my
baby was fine. That didn't
happen though. They then
referred me to see another
consultant for an in-depth scan
at another hospital the next
day.
That night i went home, and all
I kept thinking was they are
wrong, my baby is ok, it has to
be. They wouldn't let me have a
scan picture so that upset me
even more, All i wanted was my
baby to be ok.
The scan the next day showed the
same, that my baby had Anencephaly.
I can remember on the way home
seeing lots of pregnant women or
women with pushchairs, and all i
kept thinking was why Me? I
wanted this baby so much.
I still didn't know what was
going to happen, no-one
had explain anything to be they
just gave me lots of leaflets.
So the next day when i went back
to see the consultant and he
said that i had to have an
induced labour as soon as
possible, i couldn't take it in,
I didn't want to kill my baby, I
didn't know what i wanted to do.
they all just kept saying i had
to have an induced labour if i
ever wanted anymore children, as
anencephalic babies have wide
shoulders and this would cause
the baby to rip my insides and
it would put my life in danger,
and they also said that my baby
could even die before then. So i
agreed to the induced labour.
Even though i felt inside i was
doing the wrong thing.
After a 7 hour labour i had my
Son Cameron Edward Walter, He
was born at 3.05pm and was 11
cms long, and so beautiful. At
first i didn't want to see him,
i was scared I had this picture
in my mind. I'm so glad
that i did see him though he was
so beautiful, he had my shape
lips, and nose. He was perfect,
apart from his head which i
didn't even notice at first,
because he was my son and I
loved him so much.
I wasn't allowed to go to Cameron's
funeral, as it had to be done by
the hospital has he was so
small, this really upset me, and
now i don't have a remembrance
place to visit him, But Now i
believe that he is with me
always.
 
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